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Sixteen-year-old Joel had all of the anxieties typical of a teen trying to deal with the complexities of high school relationships, but with one added issue. Joel was sexually attracted to other boys. They loved him and were proud of his many accomplishments.

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However, they knew that growing up gay would confront Joel with problems that his heterosexual peers would never have to face. Deciding whether to date in high school was one of.

He lied. The truth was that he found several of his male friends very attractive and had emotional feelings for.

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What happens in therapy with someone like Joel? I first spent time with Joel and his parents discussing their questions about sexual orientation. Homosexuality is not a mental disorder.

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Sexual orientation is not a psychological death sentence. My individual sessions with Joel were intense.

He was quite mature for his age, and he was remarkably comfortable with his sexual orientation. He datinng loved by his parents, had many friends in school and was looking forward to attending an excellent college in a few years.

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His question to me was simple. Should he risk all the wonderful things in his life for the sake of dating other boys?

I directed Joel to various Web sites and asked him to reflect upon the experiences of other gay youth who had confronted that dilemma. Joel liked to write, so one week he wrote a passionate argument why he should be public gay dating in high school his sexual preferences.

The following week, he wrote just as strong an essay about why he should wait until college to disclose his sexual orientation. The risks of self-disclosure were not worth endangering his wonderful high school years.

One of the saddest things about youngsters like Joel is the intense sense of loneliness they feel. He had many good friends — but was terrified of his friends knowing about his homosexuality. Joel decided to forgo dating until college.

Growing up is hard enough for all young people. Teachers, coaches, therapists and others who say they really care about kids ought to be concerned about all kids and do whatever we can to create a safer world for gay teens.

The Young Man's Gay Guide to High School I've heard this coming school How do I find a boyfriend when I don't see any other gay guys?”. 18 Tips For LGBT Teens In High School, From People Who Have Been There. " You're not .. Watch Gay Men Answer Bullying Questions. Sixteen-year-old Joel had all of the anxieties typical of a teen trying to deal with the complexities of high school relationships, but with one.

Gregory Ramey, Ph. For more of his columns, visit www. By Greg RameyContributing writer. Subscribers Only. All Classifieds Jobs Cars Homes.

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